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2002-03-14 - 8:41 p.m.

This is the entry I started on a piece of notebook paper today.

Major annoyance of the day:
its gorgeous out and I:
a) don't have any cigarettes
b) don't have my notebook

I still have 50 minutes before my shift starts. Ostensibly I can go upstairs and retrieve my one remaining clove. OR I can go upstairs, leave my lunchbox, and walk the 6 minutes to the nearest store and get a pack.

OR Jill can come outside and give me one.

I know, I know. I quit smoking. Being outside should not make me want to smoke; nothing should make me want to smoke! I should be done smoking! But I'm just not. I told Matt last night that I went out to hang out with Day on my break. And Matt, that clever bastard said, "Did you smoke?"

"Well, uh, um, yeah."

And then he was annoyed. Sigh. I really want to be quit, but I really want to smoke. It sounds contradictory, but it isn't. I like the way I don't cough all the time, and my clothes don't smell. But at the same time, when its a gorgeous day like today and I'm sitting out in the sun, all I can think is "A cigarette would complete this moment." Because for so long, that's what has accompanied all my moments. A cigarette.

On to a completely different subject. My new computer and my new copy of Windows XP came today. I am so, so, so, so thrilled. I probably won't get to set everything up until Saturday though, which kinda sucks. Too much to do until then. Of course, in true geek fashion, I may stay up all night setting it up. That's entirely possible.


Burgundy Patent

I'm the badass burgundy patent Doc Marten...
I'm cool as hell, I'm deep,
and maybe a little dark

Which Doc Marten are you?
(by *coffeebean*)

 

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