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2002-07-06 - 12:25 a.m.

I'm starting to get depressed about finding a place to live. I really want to live north of northern Holyoke, but there just isn't much in our price range. If we wanted to live south, closer to work, great, there's plenty there, but in what kind of neighborhoods? And what about our friends? I don't know, since so many people have graduated from Hampshire, we don't really need to be close to there anymore, but still...I love Northampton, Hadley, and Amherst. And I'm starting to get to know and like Easthampton, too. And people that I could be better friends with live there, and Jenn and Peej. And I don't want to move to far from Jean; I'll never see her then. Just suck ass. I'm starting to freak out.

On to more pleasant topics...last night was very cool. We could actually see the Springfield fireworks from our office, and it was GREAT. Sooo cool. Kevin, me, Kris, Bernie, Mike and Jameson all crowded in. We closed the door, and opened the window wide. The air conditioner was broken, but it had really cooled down after some wild downpouring squalls - poor Kris was driving in the one that looked like a mini-Noah flood. It was the perfect temperature for fireworks. At the first "oohs" and "aahs" Jameson complained, "No! No 'oohing' and 'aahing'! You all sound like my mother!" But he couldn't shut us up. The fireworks were definitely ooh-worthy.

Now back to our regularly scheduled bitching and moaning. The fireworks were the most redeeming quality of yesterday. I had a shitty day. I was just in a horrible mood. It was like "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day" - maybe I'll move to Australia.

But at least I didn't wake up with gum in my hair...they did put mayo on my chicken sandwich, though. Just crappy. I was a little freaked out by how much I lost my temper. I screamed, cried, slammed doors, and stomped around. Matt was mystified. I was furious at him, my wardrobe, the chicken (don't ask), my living room, bedroom, shoe options, hair, and last, but not least, my bag situation. My clutter and everything else just got to me, and I lost it. It was scary, because there was no reason for it. I am used to be

able to say to myself, okay Jenn, you are crying at Office Max commercials, what's going on? And I'd say to myself, hey, just got the birth control shot, my hormones are out of wack. Or, I'm due for my shot, or, I haven't eaten anything today, or I haven't slept more than 3 hours a night in two weeks, or I have a horrible fucking cold, or SOMETHING. But I flipped for no reason. And that's just not cool.


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