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2002-10-10 - 1:59 p.m.

I know that I start a lot of entries like this, but I can't help it. I had a weird dream last night. It started with Matt and I in this very strange pet shop. I had a tiny tiny mouse in my pocket, and a very tired guinea pig. I put the guinea pig down on a shelf, and he just looked so sad. I was afraid he was going to die. And the mouse kept jumping out of my pocket, and I had to catch him in the air, so he wouldn't fall and die. There were all these animals, and cages, and I just didn't know what to do. This sounds kind of silly, but throughout this whole dream there was a pervasive layer of anxiety, and a sneaking suspicion that all my actions were life-or-death choices.

Finally, I saw a little cage that I could put the mouse in so that he'd stop his suicidal leaps. I was a little nervous, because the cage wasn't clean, and there might have even been some dead mouse babies in there, but I tried not to think about it. As soon as I put him in the cage, he was MUCH happier.

Then I picked up the guinea pig, who was all sick and trembly. I was terrified that he was going to die. Just then, I saw a huge cage. I put him in it, and then found another guinea pig and a ferret who were hiding, and put all three of them together. Instantly, they were all happy and healthy.

Part 2 of the dream - somehow, the people who owned this pet store, a couple with twin babies, one boy, one girl, were overjoyed that I solved their animal problem, and wanted to take me on vacation with them as their nanny. This was great, but involved me breast-feeding their babies, because the mom wanted them to be breast-fed, but didn't want to nurse. Somehow, this worked out fine, and I was able to nurse the babies without a problem. When we got home from the vacation, I pumped and bottled some milk, and then went to nurse the babies one more time before I had to go. As I was sitting with the girl on my lap, my mom appeared out of nowhere, and told me that she was worried the mom wanted to hurt me or kill me. This made me very sad, because I wanted to be able to visit the kids as they grew up, and now I knew I would have to leave them forever. I cried, kissed both babies goodbye, and then left the house from the back staircase.


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