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2003-04-01 - 10:59 p.m.

This whole entry is probably T.M.I.

Good news - this morning we fooled around. Bad news was that I hate my body so much that I barely enjoyed it. I am so bad about taking care of myself. SO BAD. Part of it is my huge fear of, well, I'm not really sure what. I hate making phone calls, so calling and setting up an appointment sucks. And, well, I don't really know what else is required. I have a doctor, but I've never been there, and never had my charts sent to him. I just picked his name off a list when we had to select a primary care physician for our health insurance. And now I want to find a doctor close to me, and I don't know how to change it, or what to do. I actually want to make an appointment, get some bloodwork done, and see if I have ruined myself permanently with my sloth.

Now there is weirdness with a friend. I need to remind myself that offering unsolicited advice is not always a good idea. Just because people usually let me do it, doesn't mean I should be allowed to get away with it. I hate it when I hurt people's feelings accidentally. We just worked it out, which is good, but I still stressed over it.

I'm feeling so crazy lately. I feel like there are a million things I need to do, and not enough of them are getting done. I also don't have time to through together a decent diary entry, so you all are stuck with this.


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